Horacio Jones wrote: “I like being alone. I have control over my own shit. Therefore, in order to win me over, your presence has to feel better than my solitude. You’re not competing with another person, you are competing with my comfort zones.”
I like being alone. Not entirely, however, for the reasons stated in the above quote. In solitude, I can spend time with God, which, I have come to realize, is THE most important, joyful, peaceful and loving time I can ever spend on this earth. In this regard, Horacio Jones got it right: “your presence has to feel better than my solitude.” If spending a night out with friends, or constantly having another person in my ‘space’ feels better to me than spending time with God, then my priorities are out of whack.
These past two weeks for me have been a tale of two extremes. Last week, I spent the week busy and hurried, in preparation for hosting a Christmas dinner for my entire family. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the purpose in the preparations. I also immensely enjoyed spending time with my family. But once it was over, I was glad to have my peace and quiet-my solitude-back.
This week of the impending New Year has swung to the opposite extreme. My son has been away snowboarding with his father, and I have had the house, and my time, completely and utterly alone. No commitments, no preparations to make, no expectations on my time. And this week has been insanely blissful. Much time has been spent in prayer and reflection on the exit of yet another year and the beginning of a new one. This week has brought unparalleled relaxation and renewal–just what the doctor, or I believe in my case, God–ordered. I have enjoyed the solitude of these days. I have enjoyed running the occasional errand, with no stress attached, and with my heart open to whatever the day may bring. I have taken drives to nowhere and discovered beautiful places in the Bay Area that I have never seen. This is the way that life should be lived. I think I may have just come up with my resolution for 2016! How wonderful!