Beloved, you know deep in your heart the importance of standing up for yourself.  When we do not prioritize self-care of the mind, body and spirit, the events of life will dictate our self-worth and esteem. And our happiness, oh, our happiness!  When we do not stand up for ourselves, we become the proverbial candle in the wind where our light is dependent upon the winds of change.

What does it look like to stand up for yourself? While it will be different for everyone, for me it meant first understanding my emotions in a given situation and, rather looking at them from the perspective of what was done to  me—be it the hurtful words or actions of another, or the fatigue from seemingly endless workdays, or the ending of relationships—I started looking at these events as happening for me.  By looking at it from this perspective, these events–and my reactions to them–served as clues to how I was not standing in my own power and allowing others to dictate my emotions.

That is not to say that words or actions should not hurt.  We are, after all, human beings with feelings and emotions, and it would be counterproductive to become emotionless robots.  No, my friend, the jewel lies in the feelings and in the emotions, for it is there that you learn what does and does not feel good to you. And it is there where you can either languish or grow.

And the beautiful thing is that once you start to grow, you naturally begin to stand up for yourself.  You set boundaries to prioritize your mental health and wellbeing.  You remove yourself from situations or relationships that, upon honest and deep reflection, you know deep in your soul were unhealthy for you.  You live authentically, inspired and expanded by joy rather than burdened and contracted by judgment or expectation.

 

But perhaps most importantly, you begin to truly love yourself.  You begin wanting the best for yourself, and you undertake the work—yes, all relationships take work, even the relationship with self—to live a life that makes you as happy and joyful as you were meant to be.

Think of all you do for others.  Spouses, partners, friends, and family get your all. Why?  To make them happy.  To express how much you love them and care for them. Because seeing others receive your love feels good. When was the last time you gave your all to yourself? 

Consider how good life could be if you gave yourself as much love as you give others.  Love is neither a sacrifice nor a burden.  It should not make you feel depleted or less than.  Love is energy—the highest form of energy—that flows back and forth between your heart and the hearts of others.  It is that secret sauce that will make life all the sweeter, but it starts with you standing up for yourself. It starts with loving yourself.

When you find love, you will find yourself. When you have the knowledge of love, you will then feel peace in your heart. Stop searching here and there, the Jewels are inside you. This, my friends, is the holy meaning of love.

~~Rumi

If you haven’t had to the chance to check out my new book, Swimming at Sunset with Dolphins, you can do so here.